With this performance/performance lecture, I would like to invite the conference participants to witness me getting lost in my doctoral research-in-progress titled “Performing my body: Rehearsals. An artistic research on boundaries and in-between as a locus of knowledge production.”

The main section of my research, ‘Rehearsals’ is a series of short texts (even though they may not always look like texts). Each ‘Rehearsal’ is a singular case, but all focus on boundaries bodies cross and crossings of bodily boundaries where I intently focus on approximating content, method, and form nearer to each other. I trace fragmentary cohesions, I orbit around what I’m after until it becomes recognizable. I repeat. I repeat. I write and re-write. I do not write about/reflect on my artistic practice, instead, I aim to conceive ‘Rehearsals’ themselves as a site of experience. Likewise in the conference call for the section ‘Various Rehearsals’, my ‘Rehearsals’ are a testing ground for experimentation and unfinished work; celebrating uncertainty, hung in suspense, advocating their own territory; ‘in-between’ with no promise of reconciliation.

For this performance, using words, images, sounds, and movements, I would like to give a glimpse of me trying to unfold a specific ‘Rehearsal’; FoG: Fear of Ghosts, musing on grief and ghosts as ‘negative space’. Getting lost in that space myself and with sheer honesty, probably risking naïveté along the way.

“Losing too is still ours; and even forgetting still has a shape in the kingdom of transformation. When something's let go of, it circles; and though we are rarely the center of the circle, it draws around us its unbroken, marvelous curve.” -  Rainer Maria Rilke